It matters because - as Rob Delaney pointed out - women are human beings. And therefore we deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.
I know a lot about not being treated with respect and dignity. I think Adam Carolla does, too. Based on his New York Post interview, our childhoods and families sound very similar, which is probably what drove both of us to become comics.
The difference between me and Adam Carolla, though, is that I understand a little thing called "taste," and when it's appropriate to share your taste and with whom.
I have been a comedian for nine years now. And I am a good comedian. A really good one. I don't think I'm the best comedian who has ever lived, but I think that there are some things that I do extraordinarily well, some talents I have for conveying struggle in a certain way that allows audience members to feel catharsis when they see me perform. I'm probably not everyone's cup of tea, but what comedian is? Isn't that the whole point? I have a particular style and sensibility that Adam Carolla may or may not appreciate, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have any inherent value. Or rather that it doesn't have lots and lots and lots of inherent value. I know it does, because I can feel that it does. I can feel how special it is when I share my gifts with other people, and they can feel it, too. I know that because they tell me, and they thank me, and they hug me and say things like, "Oh my God you are hilarious. I love you!!! You are the fucking shit. You were amazing." etc. etc. etc. On and on. This isn't about giving me an opportunity to brag about how awesome I am, but this is simply to say that no man - or person - can tell me unequivocally that I am not funny because it is simply not true. When Adam Carolla or Eddie Brill (I know that was a controversial one, but go with me here) or Christopher Hitchens or your unemployed alcoholic uncle or any old douchebag says, "Women aren't funny," they're wrong. But they're not just wrong, they're trying to hurt us. Me. A woman who has been told since she was born that she wasn't good enough, by those closest and by society in general.
Fuck that.
Fuck you, Picnic Tits.
I am good enough. And I am brave enough to say so. I'm not afraid to say this rhetoric has to stop in a way that doesn't joke about it. I can't joke about it, because it's not funny. Not everything is funny. If you can't distinguish between when it's time to be funny and when it's time to be serious, you're probably not a very good comedian, and you can take your shitty, snarky, horribly unfunny insensitive tweets about whatever celebrity died five minutes ago and shove them up your pathetic, dried-up asshole.
Women deserve respect and love. We gave birth to you cocksuckers.
And if I were you, Adam Carolla, I'd find one who can stand you long enough to take you shopping. Because you look like a fucking idiot in that shirt.
What are you talking about, this is my favorite shirt!
I wear it all the time! What do you mean, "Picnic Tits?" I don't have tits! Or balls, for that matter.
This is technically a different shirt. It's basically the same shirt in a slightly different color pattern, but I see what you're saying.
Alright, maybe it's a bit much with the orange and red plaid/checks. BUT IT MATCHES MY BEEEEEERRRRR!!!! How else will the world know that I'm a dude if I don't wear a shirt that matches my beeeeerrrrrrr????? Maybe I should rape somebody. That would do it, I guess.
Haha yeah - that's funny. Women aren't, but raping them sure is! HEY-OH!!! Check the shirt!!!
