I'm in 2 Voice Choices in 1 Week!

Yay! Come check 'em out:

TONIGHT @ 8!

Poetry vs. Comedy
Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery (Bleecker/Houston)
$7

Featuring:

COMEDIANS:

Mike Ennis
Maria Shehata
Elon James White

POETS:

Michelle Carlo
Gloria Williams
and SUPERBLOGGERS Stacy and Lesley

MUSICAL GUEST:

Soce the Elemental Wizard!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31 @ 7:30

Hipster Cinderella
Mo Pitkin's - 34 Ave. A (2nd/3rd)
$5 advance / $8 door
Advance tix here.

Ever notice...

...that when people say something is "too funny" it is really, absolutely not in any way funny at all?

I guess I'm on Facebook.

Here goes nothin'.

LA Part Two: On the Set of "On the Lot"

The "Ford bloggers" attended the taping of Episode 111, subtitled "Road Night." (You can see all the short films aired that night here.) Each filmmaker was accordingly assigned the task of making a Ford car the subject of their short. Before the taping we were given a tour of the executive offices and met with several members of the creative team. I asked one of the staff members how they felt about all of the cross-marketing going on in film and television today, and rather than shy away from the question, he said something to the effect of, "Partnering with industry is unavoidable, but Ford has been open to us doing it in a way that isn't hacky. If we can use the cars openly, it's better for the advertisers and better for the artists. If we're not partnered with the car-maker, we have to make sure we don't show any logos, and that's always hard. We try not to make these films look like commercials." I respected his candor, but I think more often than not this covert marketing comes off as offensive. Is the audience not supposed to notice? Or just pretend that we don't? The film "Josie and the Pussycats" (hey, Parker Posey's in it) famously pimped products while seemingly spoofing such advertising schemes. I think that's probably worse than saying, "Look. We need money to make a movie and Ford is going to pay for it." At this point, why not? I'd rather see people embrace this new marketing than try to play coy like Jennifer Aniston, not only constantly walking with a Smart Water in her hand, but having the label placed ever-so-perfectly toward the paparazzi's lens.

Just before the cameras rolled we were treated to a meet and greet with Mark Burnett himself. (In case you live under a rock or are my mother, Mark Burnett is THE godfather of reality shows, most namely having created "Survivor" among many others.) He was surprisingly down to earth, answering questions about life in Hollywood with such pearls of wisdom as, "You have to learn to treat a pat on the back and a kick in the balls the same way because they're both momentary sensations." (I've heard the same thing about an orgasm and a sneeze.) It was interesting to hear him refer to what he does as "art." Not that I'm saying it's not, but there seems to be a slight divide between Picasso and "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" He appeared to wholeheartedly believe in the American Dream, stating that Americans reward people who take risks and that "you can be anything in America." (Including a very snappy dresser, I might add. He had on such a cute shirt/blazer combo!) One of the bloggers asked Mark how he felt about making Details' 2007 List of Mavericks, and he asserted that "People who want to be on these lists are making a big mistake - as Paris Hilton found out." (Hmm? Is there some tension here?) He then added that he doesn't define himself by these types of achievements but rather by his children. (He definitely scored points there with this breeder. We're naturally softies, you know.)

The taping itself was fairly standard, including commentary from "your warmup guy, Bill" during commercial breaks. I thought all the shorts were good, with "Driving Under the Influence" by Adam Stein coming out on top. Ironically, the film that Jerry O'Connell appeared in, "The Move," by Jason Epperson was probably the weakest of the five, due to a weak script. It involved a very long setup for a sort of weird punch, reminding me of the kind of improv scene you do when you don't really understand the concept of "Yes, and." There was a lot of "You should do the thing - yeah, I'll do the thing in that place - yeah, like that other time, remember?," with the last shot being in the woods on "some tiny Asian guy," as Penny Marshall (judging in absence of her brother) so eloquently put it. She was a riot the entire time, making little to no sense in a very thick Bronx accent. Carrie Fisher also had a few good barbs, like this one about "Backseat Driving Test" by Sam Friedlander: "Everyone has a parent who's a backseat driver - or an alcoholic." "Bonus Feature Two" by Zac Lipovsky (who has since been voted off the show) involved the most complicated shots and looked the most like a Hollywood blockbuster, which is maybe why it was the least noticed by the judges. "Road Rage 101" by Will Bigham was my second favorite film; Will seems to be a favorite of the judges. I think the contest will come down to Will and Adam. The final episode airs August 21.

All facts aside, let me just gush for a minute. Meeting Penny Marshall and Carrie Fisher was such a treat! Penny is a real recluse, on her way to becoming one of the Grey Gardens ladies for sure. She wears those little round blue glasses and is obsessed with baseball. She's a true character - someone needs to get her back on TV in a series. (Though it seems she isn't really interested in that sort of thing. I asked her if she was interested in acting again and she mumbled something about Barry Bonds, I think.) Carrie Fisher is AMAZING - one of those successful women that radiates a real life force when you meet her. I wish I could sit and talk to her for hours! Maybe we'll meet again someday... I realize now I've entirely neglected to mention Gary Ross, the guest judge for the day. He's quite an accomplished man and gave great advice to the fimmakers, but I just don't know anything about him, really. (Maybe he should try wearing a snappier shirt/blazer combo?)

And, about the cast - we partied with them afterwards and they were all sweeties. Here's the video footage I took of our reception at one of the bungalos on the CBS lot. (Yes, a FOX show tapes on the CBS lot. Who knows?!)



Interview with Zac:



Interview with Sam:



Interview with Patricia, the caterer!



Interview with Jason:



Interview with Will:



Shootin' the breeze with Elephant Larry:



It should be noted that the contestants have not been allowed to see their loved ones during the enitre series, so Will and Sam were both psyched to have an opportunity to hang with their lady loves.





And did I mention there was food at this thing?



I mean, who thinks to use a cabbage as a bowl?!



I was perfectly content to stay and eat all the nibbles Patricia so lovingly made, but we were once again carted off to Hollywood hotspot, Social for a delicious meal of wine and whatever it is we ate.



Celebs were swarming everywhere:





Of course I'd just as soon have eaten at Mel's: Home of the Headless Waitress.



When we got back to the hotel, we took in the scene at the fabulous pool.



I could have died there, happy. The jams were poppin' and I was rocking out:





After hours on the dance floor, it was time for bed! (There may have been no Hilary, but there was plenty of Swank.)



My favorite thing about the rooms at the Roosevelt (besides the complete access we had to the mini-bar) was the cheeky little pill bottles of M&M's they leave next to the bed. I love a good self-depreciating joke! I could just imagine the likes of LaLohan waking up in a stuper, downing whatever is next to the bed, only to be disappointed that it was just a jug of chocolate. Hahahahaha!

LA Part One

How luxurious! I luxuriously find myself luxuriously writing about my recent luxurious trip to Los Angeles on my current trip to the luxurious Netherlands. "Onvoorstelbaar!," as the Dutch say.

I think it best to just give you a blow by blow of my whirlwind tour. Here's how it started:

July 31

Well, I’m of to LA this morning to blog about On the Lot, a reality TV program I know nothing about. (Other than the fact that Catie Lazarus told me last night her cousin was on it.) An excellent journalist does her research, and boy, have I (n)ever! Despite not having an idea what’s in store for me over the next few days I am thoroughly psyched. This is my first trip to Hollywood, so I'm trying extra-hard to be awake for it.

Alas, I wish this was me projecting excitement or anticipation about the trip, but I wake up every day with this shining cocktail of glee and horror on my face. What I don’t do every day, however, is shave my legs, and this day proves to be no exception. (Ford’s not tryin’ to change me, baby, they just want me to drive one of their cars and say nice things about their show. I can dig it…)

Given that I’m ostensibly supposed to be “live-blogging” this entire excursion (in hindsight I think that's hilarious), I thought I’d show you a little timelime of what my morning has been like so far.

1 am – Go to bed. Nice work, Castiglia! You managed to go to sleep a whole 4 hours before you’re supposed to get up! GOLD STAR, my girl! A+. (In all fairness, I stayed out late to see Daniel Kitson’s sold-out show at Mo Pitkin's. I suspect you’ll be seeing him in LA soon enough. Lovely young man, great storyteller. I really did enjoy his act very much, but I kept thinking, “Oh, I get it. It’s Eddie Izzard without the lipstick.” (Don’t worry Daniel – I’ve been called Rosie O’Donell without the girlfriend. It all evens out in the wash.) I’m sure Daniel will Google himself and find this, be moritifed for a second, and then go, okay, we are sort of similar in our Britishisms and exuberance, and then think, “Wait, she’s just saying I’m like Eddie Izzard because he’s the only other British comedian she knows.” Which is true. But not why I’m saying it. My friend Adira’s husband Bram is the only other Dutch guy I know besides my husband, but they’re nothing alike at all. (Mark’s penis is much bigger. And I'm not just saying that because he told me he'd kill me otherwise. It's HUGE.)

5 am – Alarm 1 of 3 goes off. Wake up in a panic, say to self, “Ha! This is why I set three alar-“ fall back asleep before finishing thought.

5:15 – Alarm 2 of 3. Really annoying cuckoo sound. Bitch slap T-Mobile phone (and thereby Catherine Zeta-Jones) and bury face into pillow. Ha! That’ll show you, me! If I’m late, well, who cares, cuz it’s your fault! Silly, me. Have dream about old boss. He’s at the airport, saying goodbye to his kids and waives at me from afar. I think, “Oh, he looks good.” Not, “Hey, speaking of kids, where's mine?” Interesting.

5:30 – Alarm 3 of 3. This is it. I have to get up. Alright. There’s no fucking way I’m getting up.

5:30 and 30 seconds: Phone call from wonderful husband. “Hi! How are you? Tired. Yeah, me too. I don't want to get up. You have to get up, I got up so you’d get up. So get up!," etc.

And now, here I am, on the way to the airport. It’s 6:58 am. I don’t think these fingers have touched a computer keyboard at this hour since I pulled my last all-nighter in 1999. And I haven’t even had coffee yet! (I did manage to have half a cigarette, though. I mean, a girl’s gotta eat!)

p.s. – Beauty tip, ladies! Wash and condition your hair, and then dry it nature’s way – via the wind streaming in from the window of your cab. (Your $90 cab. Did I mention that, by the way? I hope Ford is paying for breakfast!) Your hair will never look so good. It’ll have lots of bounce, perfect shape, and just a twinge of soot creating that “urban glow.” You don’t need product, you’re a producer!

I arrived at the airport at 7:15, so proud of myself for being an hour and a half early. I thought, “Great! I’ll have plenty of time to kick back, relax, do some work…” No. It took an hour to check one bag and go through security. I’ve never seen such a ridiculous lack of competence at an airport in my life. Delta makes Jet Blue look like they run with military precision! Oy.

10:38 am EST – We’ve been in the air for over an hour now and the crew has restarted the in-flight entertaintment system twice already. We were offered a “snack” – two crackers, “havarti-like” cheese, a box of raisins and an oreo cookie. Yum! The only way I’d put those four things together is if they were all I could find after a hurricane. (Is that offensive to people who live in New Orleans?) Haven’t had a cup of coffee yet, and my date with Raul Esparza and the cast of Company has been interrupted twice. Hold my earrings!

10:53 – "Ladies and gentlemen, we do apologize, but the satellite system is not working for our flight today." Really? No shit, Sherlock. Maybe you might have realized that when it didn’t work initially instead of pulling the plug in the middle of Marry Me a Little? I’m ready now…

Nothing works on Delta. Not even the people. Change is bullshit, apparently.

But, the seats are wide, so I guess I can’t complain. Or, well, the girl next to me doesn’t have to. Plus, the view is great. I don't know if this is the Grand Canyon and the Rocky Mountains or just some random creeks and hills, but they sure are purdy, Pa.

When I landed in LA, a lovely man named Jim picked me up in a sweet Lincoln Navigator. Accordingly, I put on my fur bikini and sprayed champagne all over myself while sparking a blunt. It was very Hollywood. Here's some video footage I took of the first ride...













I arrived at The Roosevelt just in time to grab a sandwich before we drove to the taping of On the Lot in these snazzy Ford Escapes. (Yes, Jen and I drove a hybrid.) We only almost died once. Not bad!





I think I'll end this post with Jen's shimmering lipgloss and look of intrigue. Check in later for more about the taping, interviews with the cast and pictures of food! Yum...

Groetjes uit Nederland!

Hey guys! I'm in Holland. I flew here from LA. What?! I know. I have so much to blog about, but real quick here are a few pics from the wonderful show I did for the New York Women in Communications event in Studio 8H at Rockefeller Center on the set of Saturday Night Live! (And, breathe. Nothing like a good run-on sentence in reference to a communications organization, eh?) No one is allowed to take pics of the studio itself, but here are some shots of most of the comics downstairs in the lobby. Photos courtesy of Maryann Russell. I know they're small, so click for bigger versions, kay?

Mmm... Leighann Lord! Tasty! The show was hosted by the lovely blond to our left, Maggie Mistal of Sirius Radio. Also featured were Seth Rudetsky (top photo, blue tee), Karith Foster, Andrea Alton and Robin Gelfenbein (blond and brunette to my right) and their guest (and my roomie in The Hawk) Theron Steiner, plus headliner Lynne Koplitz.

LA LA LA LA LA LA Means I Love You...

I love yooooooooooou! L.A., that is. Holy ballz, is it f-ing awesome here! (That's not a question, it's a declarative statement.) It is f-ing awesome here - and despite what my famous friend thinks, I feel that way sober, too. Oh yeah... did I mention that I'm in the City of Angles (cuz everybody out here's got one...) blogging for the Kings of Motor City? Sweet, right? I've just been chillin' at the Roosevelt (more like Roosesvelt!) and hanging out with movie stars (and their husbands). Strangely enough, I had to come all the way to Cali to meet these guys in the flesh, despite the fact that we roll with the same crew in NYSee. I have had THE BEST TIME of my life (okay, definitely not of my life, but everything is r-e-a-l-l-y dramatic on the left coast) and I can't possibly tell you enough about it right now. Not only because I have tons to say, but also because I have to get up in 4 hours less than 1 hour to catch a flight. I'll fill you in over the course of the next several days, but for now if you like you can have a look at my Flickr pics and wait with bated breath while I edit all of my documentary footage (read: download all the 30 second videos I shot with my still photography digital).

Later, darlings! Kisskiss!