Here comes a great big, whopping generalization:
I f-ing hate MommyBlogs.
Whew! That feels GOOD!
Okay, now let me qualify.
I love kids. In fact, I have one. (And, hypocritically enough, I do keep
a blog about her.) But the reason I don't feel like a total tool by expressing my disdain for the MommyBlog is because the blog I keep about my child is just that - it's about my child. It's not that I'm opposed to people discussing their thoughts or feelings about parenting, but I can't stand when it's done out of a need to make one's existence seem grandiose or "interesting." (It should be noted that with each passing minute since I've turned thirty I lose more and more patience for pretense.) I find the tone of most MommyBlogs to be dripping with an uber-annoying sense of, "Look at me. I'm a MOTHER! All my observations on parenting/American Idol are thus deeper and more transcendent as a result of the fact that I am white and upper middle class and have more time on my hands than I could even fathom what to do with because I am
raising THE MOST BRILLIANT, CHALLENGING, UNIQUE, ORIGINAL, COMPLEX, FASCINATING child that has ever lived."
I understand that parenting, specifically mothering, can be isolating. And I am aware that most of these women treat their MommyBlogs the same way people without children treat their personal blogs. As an outlet. But it's not the children that bother me, it's the voices of the authors that irk me so much.
I hate to sound so simple, but is there no one left living a real life anymore? Do we really have to make suburban existence and full-time parenting edgy?
Barf. And please don't tell me you're being ironic, because I'm sick of that overused device, too.
I just can't help but be put off by the ridiculousness of people complaining about their brand new houses filled with brand new furniture and brand new babies.
Call me when you have a real problem*.
See you at Crate and Barrel, suckas. I'll be the one on the outside looking in.
*
This, for example, is a real problem. Being asked to
test-drive a brand new Saturn, however, is not. Product placement in a baby blog. Wow... Maybe Saturn should try making TV commercials?
ADDENDUM:
This is an interesting response to an (unlinked) critique of Mommyblogging, suggesting that writing "about your failings as a mother is ringing false." My point exactly. This to me is the most telling section:
Here's my take on it. We should all be good parents and I'm sure most of us are. If you're blogging about parenting you obviously give a shit about doing a decent job. You are interested in all things parenting. You want to know what slings your neighbor is using and who you can plan a cyber baby shower for and whether or not you should entrust a thirteen-year-old with the care of your toddler. Let's face it, most likely you aren't living in a trailer, shotgunning Pabst Blue, spanking the living shit out of your child's rear end for daring to ask for another cookie. And if I'm wrong, I guess I haven't come across your blog yet possibly called http://getmommatheswitch.blogspot.com.
Being a decent well meaning parent should be our baseline. Yes, we're all good moms most of the time. We all want our babies to feel loved, nurtured, breastfed (until they're 15) have high self esteem, learn their ABC's (in Spanish, French and Italian) and always always always know how we love them so much we almost can't breathe when we watch them sleep. How we sometimes have dreams we can't find them, dreams so real we wake up in a cold sweat, tears running down our sleep deprived cheeks and walk around not feeling right for the rest of the day. Most of us would throw ourselves into traffic to protect them but first take them on an educational trip to the frog exhibit at the museum. Yes, this is the parenting 101 part. But what about the days where we don't feel we're living up to even the basics? Isn't it cathartic to write THAT? Isn't it cathartic to READ that?
I in no way find that blogging about falling short in our ideals to be like Kate Moss complaining her ass is too big. Or attending Weight Watchers when you weigh 120 pounds. It's not false. It's how we feel and it's real. It's as real as it gets because parenting brings on a new challenge every. single. day. No one day has passed since Elby's been born that I didn't question at least one decision I've made. I'm sorry I'm not as confident and brimming with what a wonderful job I'm doing. Yes there are certain days I bet other women would kill for my patience, my way with a Bernstein Bear Story, my attention span for an almost unintelligible four minute story about a rock. But that's not funny nor highly relatable. So I don't blog about those things.
What do you think?
Oh wait, no one outside of the Mommyblogosphere cares.
