Thursday, June 23, 2005

Day 4 at home with the cats...

I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between my leg hair and their shedding. Is this bad, or AWESOME?!

Oh! My house boy just came home with the groceries! Better go tend to my wifely duties since I re-organized the cupboards the other day and if anyone f*cks with them THEY WILL DIE BY MY KUNG FU DEATH CHOP!

I wonder if these are the things Martha writes in her journal...

Dear Diary,

Day 105 in the 'anklet.' All is going well, except someone, (I think it was that awful 'daughter' of mine) washed my gorgeous new wool poncho that my fellow inmate gave me in HOT water! It will now only fit a small child. Perhaps I should send it to Mary Kate Olsen. She might get cold this summer. No, it would probably be too big for her. I know Alexis is my spawn and all, but this kind of mistake is inexcusable. I think I'm going to have to call Victoria G. and have her 'sent on vacation.' Oh well. At least we got to know each other a bit first!

Still can't believe Michael got off scott free. He looks better in jewelry than I do. Maybe as a gag I should send him the anklet when I'm finished! Ah hah hah hah hah hah! At least that bastard Kozlowski is gonna fry in Attica! Don't drop the soap, Dennis! Oh! Maybe I should make him a non-slip organic oatmeal bar for good luck?... IDEAS, IDEAS!

Better get some sleep, then!

Love,
Martha