Nichelle made this collage to advertise the show I'm hosting tonight! Aww - it's kinda cute (if I do say so myself.) My favorite one is on the top right where I look wasted (which must be why I'm holding my notes. I would never do that sober.)
No, I don't do comedy drunk. Really. I do, however, sometimes use notes. Janeane Garofalo is famous for it. Course, she's famous, period. I guess this example thing is not working out. Maybe we should just focus on the cute picture in the top left corner where I am having a jovial conversation. I sometimes have conversations drunk, but I never have conversations using notes. That would be retarded.
Opening line: Hey! How are you?
(wait for response - if positive say, "Great!" If negative, say "Awwww.")
If the other person says, "How are you?" say:
Carolyn: Same old shit different day!
Other things to drop in during conversation:
I like your shirt!
Your set was great.
How's your boyfriend/girlfriend/dog/mom?
I gotta get goin'. See ya later!
Do you get my newsletter?
Be sure to smile a lot and look friendly. Refer to these notes, but not so much it seems like you're not listening.
Go get 'em tiger! GROWL!
At least I have good hair.